No one said to forget the guy who you care about, it will be easy or fun. But, the sooner you decide to accept the fact that there is no more room for this guy in your future, the sooner you will start thinking of him as the past, as it should be. To forget about the guy, you need time to heal, remind yourself that you better be alone and enjoy the company of friends and family. If you have a desire to start forgetting it today and continue to live, follow our advice.
Encourage healthy thoughts
Give yourself time to get used to the idea. If you really want to forget the guy, the first thing to be sad a little. No matter how stupid it sounds, the faster you admit that you need to be alone with yourself, to think about what happened, to cope with their emotions, the faster you can move on. Whether you’ve met a guy or you just really liked him, you need to let your emotions run wild and accept that you’re going to feel bad for a while.
This in no way means weakness. On the contrary, it takes strength to admit that you don’t feel strong enough.
Let your friends know you’re upset. Don’t pretend to be happy, it would take too much energy. If you do not want to go anywhere for a while, it’s okay. Although, you shouldn’t lock yourself in four walls for long, there’s nothing wrong with being home for a few days – or weeks.
Write down your feelings in a journal. This will help you to understand your emotions without telling the world about them.
Focus on his bad qualities, thinking about him. When you’re trying to forget a guy, it’s very easy to see the situation through rose-colored glasses and imagine that the guy was absolutely gorgeous, funny, unbeatable and generally awesome, instead of looking at the situation realistically. If you’re trying to forget him, everything points to him being either a jerk or just not right for you. So next time, before you think about his murderous smile, think about all the bad things he said to you, or imagine him wearing that creepy leather jacket he used to wear all the time.
If necessary, write a list of all his negative traits. Carry it with you and look through at any time if you feel that you give in to weakness.
If you really think your boyfriend is perfect, then chances are you never got to know him well enough.
Remind yourself why you’re not with him. There must be a really good reason why you’re not together. Perhaps he was deceiving you. Maybe he wasn’t as interesting as he used to be. Perhaps it turned out that you are not as compatible with him as you would like. Or maybe you were so passionate about each other that you couldn’t be around for more than 10 minutes without a fight. Never mind. Whatever the reason, it has to be strong, so remind yourself that there’s a great explanation for why you’re not together.
When you feel you need him, remember all the bad things you’ve been through. Do you really want all this again?
It’s very easy to look back at the future in pink glasses and convince yourself that you and your boyfriend were made for each other. In reality, there must be a lot of more than imperfect moments that you spent together, otherwise you’d still be holding hands, right?
Get rid of remorse. You can repent for several reasons. Maybe you think you could be a better girl. Maybe you’d like to show somehow how much you like a guy. Or you think you’ve been too distant and he’s lost interest. No matter what seems wrong to you, there is a big possibility that it’s all just in your head. And even if you did make a mistake, it’s too late to go back and fix something, so don’t waste time worrying about it.
Look at it this way: you may have made mistakes with this guy, but you can’t go back in time and change everything. However, it was not in vain – you can learn from these mistakes and become more Mature and judicious when you start the next relationship.
Forget unpleasant feelings. Resentment is another negative feeling that will only make you unhappy, angry and will deprive you of compassion. You can be hurt because of the way your relationship ended, the feeling that you were mistreated or simply because of the thoughts that you are unlucky in life and all this is unfair. Do you know where these feelings will lead you? Absolutely nowhere. So curb those bitter feelings whenever they creep up.
Learn to recognize these painful feelings. When you feel resentment approaching, fight it with at least three positive thoughts. Of course, you can think of something terrible that your boyfriend did to you, but negate this feeling by remembering three incredible, unforgettable things that your friends or relatives have done for you recently. You will always find something that makes you feel happy if you think well enough.
Remind yourself that you deserve better. Repeat it like a mantra. It may not be the best time to try and forget a guy, but it doesn’t mean he deserves you. You are an amazing person and deserve to be treated as the greatest value, beautiful and unique woman you are – not someone who tramples you into the mud or simply does not notice. You deserve someone you don’t have to eradicate from your memory. Even though you may feel that you and your boyfriend deserve each other when you’re more distant, you’ll see that you’re much better off.
Knowing you deserve someone better will take time. The fact that your friends are constantly telling you this, even though you do not feel it, can offend or annoy you. Sometimes it’s hard to know what you deserve until you start a healthy relationship that has the support of a guy worthy of you (when feelings for the first guy come to naught, of course).
Cheer yourself up. If you’re trying to forget a guy, it’s unlikely you feel like a rock star. You can consider yourself ugly, fat, stupid, worthless or trite boring. These feelings are quite natural, but it does not mean that they are correct in any case. Whatever this stupid guy does, don’t let yourself lose heart and don’t forget to love yourself on your own terms.
Think about what you liked most about yourself before you met this guy-can you go back to that? Make a list of your favorite qualities and manifest them. Work on self-confidence until you see what an amazing person you are, no matter with or without a boyfriend.
Be grateful for what you have. If you’ve just broken off a relationship or been in some confusing history with a guy, your first impulse is unlikely to be gratitude for all that you have. However, this is exactly what can pull you out of this negative perception and what makes you remember all the wonderful things that life offers you. In your mind or on paper, create a list of things you are grateful for: family, friends, health, opportunities, surroundings, your cat Murka or dog BIM. Very soon you will see that your life is beautiful, even if there is no guy in it.
Write down everything you’re grateful for and add to the list when you think of something else. Read the list every time you need to cheer up. You will see that it is worth living without a guy and he will gradually disappear from your life.
We eradicate it from our lives
Stop talking to the guy. You may think it’s very Mature to continue going to parties with him, writing to him when you think of something funny that reminds you of him, or once a week or two having lunch with him by accident. Maintaining a friendly relationship with a guy after your heart is healed can be a great option, while communicating with him while the pain is still strong will only prolong the suffering and double the time of his forgetting.
Remove his number from your phone if you need to. Be polite if you meet him, but don’t make too much effort to start a conversation with him. If possible, avoid places where you are most likely to meet him.
Stop talking about him. You may think it’s enough that you haven’t talked to him or seen him for a while, but if you talk about him all the time, you’re not helping yourself to move forward. Sharing your feelings with a close friend can be a huge relief, but if all you do is cry about your boyfriend to anyone who gets in the way, you’re no closer to your goal of forgetting him.
And if you meet mutual friends or people who know him, avoid the temptation to ask how he’s doing. What good will it do you?
Avoid anything that reminds you of it. Although you, of course, do not have to throw everything, if absolutely everything reminds you of it. Just do your best to avoid the irritants that will surely make you think about it and you will be sad. Put aside the Macklemore disc he gave you for your birthday and don’t go to volleyball after class if you know he’ll be there too. Don’t go to your favorite cafe or restaurant if all you can think of is thinking how much fun you had there together; go to a new place instead.
Clarify what is an irritant to you and develop a plan on how to avoid it. Change the way you go to class so you don’t pass by the place where you had your first kiss.
Don’t track him on social media. Avoid the temptation to go to his Facebook page every 15 minutes to see if anyone has posted a new photo of him hugging a girl (who is certainly not as pretty as you). Even if you visit his pages on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, you will find nothing but boring comments about how badly his favorite football team is playing this season, just seeing his face and reading his words will complicate the process of forgetting.
If you can’t fight the urge to see how he’s doing every time you turn on your computer, then you should give up social media for a while. This, in any case, will benefit you – you organize your thoughts and focus on life at the moment instead of clogging your head with how things are there for all your friends.
Get rid of personal things belonging to him. If you still have any of your boyfriend’s things, no matter how small they may seem, return them to him as soon as possible. Put them in a box and leave them at his door. Leave them by his closet or his car. Ask a friend to do this for you if you don’t want to have any contact with them. Or you can just throw it all in the trash – why should he get his favorite Lakers hoodie back if he behaved like a jerk to you? As for everything he gave you, it’s all in the trash.
If getting rid of his things hurts you too much, ask a good friend to do it for you.
Avoid it at friends meetings for a while. Although you should not be confined to four walls, if you have mutual friends or company, you still need to avoid events where it is likely to be. Sure, you can both go to a party or a school dance performance, but if you know he’s sitting across from you, you’re not likely to get over him, are you? Take a break for a few weeks and meet up with friends when he’s not with them. If you want to spend time with the company, find a way to do it when it’s not there.
If you have a group of friends in common, check to see if you can be Mature and meet them “in turns”; of course, talking about it is a little weird, but it’s better than spending time with him and feeling like someone is putting a stake in your heart every time you meet a look.
Change the environment as much as possible. The sooner you get rid of the old model of behavior, the faster you start to forget the guy. Decorate the interior of your room in a new way or make a rearrangement there. Go somewhere for the weekend. Go to a new cafe in another part of the city. Try to visit a new place or imagine that you are in a new place to help your brain to rebuild and so you can get rid of old habits.
Even a change of place in class or the way home will help you change your established way of thinking.
Living in harmony with yourself
Spend time with family and friends. Find solace in the people who love you and care about you most. When you are ready to get out of your state, or at least already realize that locking yourself in a shell and listening to the Cranberries is not such a good idea, spend time with your loved ones. Help mom around the house or go to the movies with friends. Invite an old friend to eat. You don’t have to attend a noisy party or a big family event if it overwhelms you.
Start small, enjoy yourself with people who know you very well and gradually start spending more time with people you love.
You may even feel that you want to spend more time communicating than usual. Well, if you are ready for this-more time in the company of friends will help you forget the guy faster.
Devote more time to your Hobbies. This is simple. The more time you spend doing what you love, the happier you are. You may have abandoned your hobby or favorite activity or abandoned your dream. Well, resume your Hobbies and spend more time on what you’re really interested in – whether it’s playing on stage, your plan to become an actress, or your dream of being a teacher – and you’ll get better right away. Dissolve in your favorite pastime and see how quickly you forget about your boyfriend.
If you do not have a hobby, it’s time to find it. Find a hobby to your liking. Use your free time to try something radically new and something that goes beyond the usual actions and think about whether you have found a new hobby that really captures you?
Learn to appreciate the time when you are alone. You may be afraid of the time you have to spend alone, because it makes you even more prone to sadness and boredom, but you just need to change your attitude. If you want to feel fully again, you need to appreciate the time alone with yourself instead of waiting for another sortie to the company or employment in some business. Although, it would be nice to be a little more busy than usual if you know that loneliness will make you sad. But you still have to learn to appreciate this time “for yourself” and enjoy the solitude, do what you want, instead of constantly thinking about the guy.
Plan time for yourself and do something relaxing or interesting. Take a hot bath, watch your favorite movie – the one everyone thinks is tasteless – and enjoy the fact that you decide what you do.
You will not be ready to completely do away with thoughts about the guy or to find someone else as long as you do not be comfortable alone with myself.
Exercise. Doing sports promotes the release of endorphins, it will help you not to sit constantly at home and in General will make you happier and healthier. Plan how to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day, whether you’re doing yoga, running, or playing basketball with friends, all of these things will help you work out a clear schedule, feel more active, and forget the guy faster.
While you are engaged in the development of your body, you will not have time to occupy your mind with thoughts about the guy. If you just sit all day in one place, it adds to the chances that you will think about it.
You can also diversify your daily life and provide yourself with a little physical activity, trying something new that you have long wanted. Have you seen the climbing wall in your gym? Would you like to know the rules of tennis? Do something completely new-it will help you get out of depression.
Get out of the house as often as possible. Force yourself to go outside instead of sitting at home and watching “Law and order” all day – it will make you healthier and happier. Inhaling fresh air and feeling the warmth of the sun on your face is much better than seeing only the microwave light, isn’t it? Even if you feel that leaving home is the last thing you want right now, force yourself. Read a book in the Park, not in bed. Go to a cafe to drink the usual coffee, instead of brew it at home.
Make sure you leave the house at least once or twice a day if you really want to forget the guy.
Enjoy the solitude. If you really want to forget a guy, then you really should start to enjoy the time spent alone with yourself – not just go out and get drunk with friends, go home and be sad for the rest of the night. You can have a drink or attend a party when you’re ready, but not before, otherwise it will be worse. Flirt, go on dates or just relax with friends. All this will help you forget the guy.
Do not start a new relationship with the first person you meet, otherwise you will suffer again. A hasty relationship will never solve the problem.
Fall in love when you’re ready. When you feel that you have really forgotten the guy, you feel good with yourself and you live a full and interesting life, it’s time to open your heart to love again. Do not worry if you forget the guy and live on will take you months, or even a year or more. It’s better to deal with your feelings than to live in ignorance. When you are ready to fall in love – open your heart, think positively and be grateful to everything that the world has prepared for you.
You will see that it was worth all the pain you went through to forget the guy – you will know that you became stronger because of all this.