It’s not easy to admit to a girl that you don’t like her. Perhaps she is your close friend and she appeared to you romantic feelings that you are not ready to reciprocate. Either you barely know and don’t want to offend the girl. Either way, you’ll both be better off if you gently but honestly tell the girl you don’t like her.
How to say the truth
Choose the right time and place. If you come to a certain decision, then you need to act quickly. Try to choose the right time and place, so as not to hurt the girl too much. It is not good if you catch the girl by surprise and take her aside when she will communicate with her friends, or tell her news when she will be preparing for the test. Try to choose a secluded place and a time when the girl will not be busy with important things or tense.
Of course, the perfect moment may never come. It is enough to choose more or less suitable circumstances. Make sure there are no prying ears, and the girl is in a normal mood.
Say something nice first, but don’t give the girl false hope. Of course, you do not need to say that she is the most beautiful girl in the world, but try to soften the subsequent news. Say: “You are a wonderful person” or” I am always very pleased to communicate with you ” to show your good attitude, but without romantic moods. Carefully consider your words in advance so that they do not have unnecessary meanings.
Keep a distance when you speak, so that the girl does not understand you wrong. You should use a closed body language and turn slightly to the side. Demonstrate that you are not looking for intimacy.
Try to maintain eye contact to show respect, but do not stare at the girl, otherwise she will understand you wrong.
Tell the truth. This is a difficult moment, so it is better not to delay. Do not hesitate, otherwise the girl can get lost and even consider that you want to invite her on a date. You need to tell the truth so not to hurt the feelings of the girl too much. Explain that you are saying this because you want to be honest with her and don’t want to hurt her. Take a deep breath and confess.
Say something like this: “I know you like me. Alas, I feel no response. I respect you very much, so I’m talking about it. I don’t want you to learn everything from others.”
Listen to the girl’s answer. Will have to wait. Surely after the above you have a desire to quickly get away to avoid embarrassment. Understand that the girl is likely to be stunned, so show respect and do not leave immediately. If she wants to say anything in return, let her do it, but don’t turn the conversation into a scandal and go over the raised tone.
Try saying,” I’m sorry this happened, ” but don’t go into excuses. After all, a man cannot influence his romantic feelings.
If the girl burst into tears, try to calm her down, but do not delay the conversation. Do not give false hope.
Let me know if you want to stay friends. Tell the truth. If you barely know each other and not want to continue to chat, then put a point in the conversation. If you are in a friendly relationship or the girl is interesting to you as a person, offer to become or remain friends. Of course, she can roll her eyes or hotly refuse such a prospect, because people often say such words only for the sake of decency, but if you really want to be friends, then again offer such an option when the girl comes to herself a little.
For example, say: “You are a wonderful person and I would like to be friends with you. I understand that you are not yet ready to respond to such a proposal.”
You can also say, ” Everyone offers to stay friends in this situation, but I’m quite serious.”
End the conversation on a good note. Try to end the difficult conversation on a good note. Thank the girl for the conversation, remind about your offer to stay friends or say something nice and walk to the place where you met. You can try to defuse the atmosphere with humor, but it does not always work. It is important to end the conversation on a good note that the girl did not find you heartless.
Say, ” I Hope you’re not too upset. I wish you well” or “I am very flattered by the interest of such a girl.”
Try not to say platitudes like “Soon you will meet the right guy”, because the girl may be offended. That’s not what she wanted to hear from you.
Give the girl time if you want to stay friends. If you really want to continue to communicate with the girl, do not rush to invite her to spend time in the same company. It may take her a few weeks or months to get you out of her head, so meetings will be inappropriate for now. Be friendly at random encounters, but leave the initiative for the girl not to invite her ahead of time.
When meeting, say Hello, smile and ask ” How are you?”. If she will behave in a deliberately detached, there is no need to push.
If a girl does not want to be friends, then respect this choice.
How to break the news otherwise
Conversation in person. If you want to give the girl a well-deserved respect, it is better to explain face to face. Alas, it is not always possible. Perhaps the girl lives in another city or you do not have the opportunity to meet in person, you barely know and do not want to be left alone to report the news. There can be many reasons. Carefully consider whether you need to meet in person or you can explain otherwise.
If you appreciate a good relationship with a girl, the rules of decency require to talk to her in person.
Call the girl. To explain on the phone is almost as difficult as in a face-to-face conversation. If you don’t have her number, please contact the friends of the girl (don’t act like you want to ask her out!) and try to talk on the phone as friendly and delicate as possible. Say something similar to what you would say in person “” I am very flattered by your interest, but you deserve to know that I can not answer you in return.” Listen to the girl’s answer. It won’t be easy, but you’ll feel better after the conversation. Talking on the phone is usually a little easier than in person.
Say “ ” it’s not easy for me to say this, but you should know that I don’t have feelings for you. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I think it’s better to tell the truth.”
Send message. Of course, to report important information in SMS — not the best solution, and the girl does not really like to know the truth that way. However, if she’s very insistent and you don’t want to meet in person, then send a short message to put an end. Subsequently, the girl will appreciate the fact that you yourself reported your feelings, and did not shift the dirty work to others.
For example, write: “hi, I know about your sympathy for me and appreciate it. Unfortunately, I can’t return your feelings. I think you should know the truth.”
Write an email. Another way to explain to the girl is to send a short and delicate letter. E — mail is not the most personal way to talk, but it will work if you often communicate in letters. In addition, the letter allows you to speak in more detail, in contrast to the messages. Don’t write too much, be polite and finish your letter on a good note. For example:
“I know you like me, but I don’t feel the same way. I hope that you can do it, and soon we will be able to communicate as friends again.”
Talk online. Another way to explain to the girl-a conversation on the network (Facebook messages or chats). No need to talk long about the weather. Better get right to the point. If you’re a 20 minutes chat on other subjects, before reporting the news, the girl thinks that you want to get acquainted with her or even invite on a date. Write ” hi, how are you?” to start a conversation, then go straight to the point.
Don’t delay. It is not necessary to formulate ideal sentences online. Just tell me you don’t have romantic feelings for the girl. Be as delicate as possible. Don’t write “I don’t like you”directly. It’s better to say “I don’t have feelings” to soften the blow.
Write a note. Another way to report unpleasant news is to write a handwritten note. This is a more personal approach than a letter or message, as the girl will understand that you took the time and wrote a note by hand, and carefully chose the words. Your note should be short and polite. It is better to give a note after class to read it in the middle of class and burst into tears in front of strangers.
In 2-3 sentences, let, to them that you don’t have reciprocal romantic feelings. Enter your name. Give the note in person in the hands of the girl that it is not read by others.
What not to do
Don’t tell the others before you talk to the girl. If you appreciate the girl as a person, then do not rush to talk about your feelings to your friends, friends of the girl and strangers. Show respect, even if you don’t care about her at all. Talk to her before it becomes known to others.
Put yourself in the girl’s shoes — how would you feel if you heard such news from other people?
If the girl’s friends are interested in your attitude to her, first explain to the girl and then answer the questions.
Don’t talk to the girl in front of strangers. It’s better not to explain yourself in front of other people. It may seem that it is much easier to approach a girl at a party or when she is in the company of friends, but you will catch her by surprise and upset even more, because it will be difficult for her to digest what happened next to other people. It is not always possible to find a girl alone, but try to talk alone.
No need to embarrass the girl in the presence of friends and friends. Respect other people’s feelings and the right to personal secrets.
Not deceive. Guys often make such a mistake and mislead the girl, because they are afraid to tell the truth. No need to give false hopes like “I’m not ready for a relationship yet, but in the future everything is possible”, “You’re perfect for me, but I can’t afford to fall in love”or” I need time to forget another girl.” It may seem that it will soften the blow, but you will only prolong her suffering. Do not give unrealistic promises out of the desire to simplify your task.
Clearly state that you have no romantic feelings for her and you are not considering Dating in the future. The sooner she figures it out, the sooner she’ll be back to normal.
Don’t insult the girl. It should not be assumed that mild rudeness will help you understand and Express their point of view. Don’t tell the girl you like the other type, she’s too chatty or not smart enough for you. Also don’t say you like the more attractive girl from the class. Suffice it to say, your feelings are not mutual.
Don’t say “I have nothing to say to you” or “You annoy me a little.” No need to hurt a girl who’s already hurt.
Don’t look for silly excuses. It may seem like an excuse is the best way to protect yourself from hate, but it’s better to tell the truth. Never say, ” It’s not you, it’s me,” because every girl has heard that excuse. Don’t say you’re too busy for a relationship if you could find time for another girl. Don’t say you don’t need a relationship if you really would love to meet another girl. Tell her the truth to earn her respect.
Don’t build a reputation as a liar. You’d like to hear the truth in her place, wouldn’t you?
Don’t delay. If you know that you like a girl, but you are not interested, then talk to her at the first opportunity. The longer you remain silent, the longer you will give unrealizable hope. It is better to tell the truth, so she quickly recovered and moved on.
This method may seem easier for you, but do not try to convey the truth to her through other people or catch the eye with another girl. It would be too much of a blow.
Don’t let the girl change the subject. In this case, return to the point.
Be polite. You don’t have to be rude to put things right.
Keep eye contact when talking. Don’t let the girl ignore you or look at the floor.
Smile or be serious depending on the circumstances. Don’t smile if she’s been spreading nasty rumors about you. If she follows you closely, then go for it!
Never say, “I don’t like you!”This sentence is very hurt girl.
If you do not like the girl’s hair, it does not mean that “you do not like it.” Find a good reason to end your relationship.